Okay so we all know labour will hurt, but OH MY GOD does it hurt!!
For those of you who are yet to experience labour (count yourselves lucky) it is like no pain you have ever felt in your entire lives. Think of the worst pain ever, toothache? breaking a limb? Falling in love with a Hermes bag you can't afford? and then double it and then double it ten times over. May the Universe bless the person who invented the epidural.
But as bad as it is labour is the easy part.
Before I was pregnant I often imagined life as a parent but I always envisioned my child as a toddler, I don't know why I never thought of a newborn in my daydreams of motherhood. I always dreamt of them playing on the beach, going for coffee's and babychino's, their first day of school etc always a happy scenario which now seems like a million miles away from my reality. Once I fell pregnant I imagined a sleeping little angel who slept in his gorgeous nursery we built, I imagined lovely winter walks with Chewy and the baby sleeping in his pram or baby classes where I was able to mingle with other mums and make new friends.
But the reality is Mason has barely used his carrycot, cot, moses basket and now hates his sleepyhead too - if and when he sleeps he will only sleep on my chest. This means I am bound to the bed or sofa for hours and if I haven't prepared myself for this imprisonment then I often slowly slip into dehydration and insane hunger. On the bright side I have lost 14KG in 4 weeks and that could be a result of the fact I'm often glued to the sofa. If I put him down on his back he wakes up 10 minutes later due to his INCREDIBLY stubborn trapped wind which is why I invested in a sling (BEST PURCHASE EVER!) Sleep when the baby sleeps they said but how can I when he sleeps for 30 minutes at a time and I have bottles to sterilise and the Kardashians to catch up on.
The lovely pictureseque Winter walks with Chewy are often a disaster as well and end with me angirly whatsapping James ordering him to find a dog walker before I have a breakdown. Babies will fall asleep when the air hits them the midwives told me but Mason doesn't stay quiet for very long, so I usually have a baby in a sling screaming directly 1 meter from my face (see below) and a mischevious little Pomeranian who suffers with small dog syndrome that wants to take on the local dobermans. If that's not bad, having to pick up his poo's with a baby glued to me is the biggest work out I've done in a while. (Apparently running my mouth is not a type of exercise...who knew)
As of today 20th November, Mason is 6 weeks old and I've only been to 1 baby class. It was one at the local library that my best friend Chloe told me about. I was super excited, Mason and I wore a matching blue ensemble. I blow dried my hair and contoured to perfection, Mason wore a baby blue Spanish baby two piece and had all his gold pinned on him (Turkish/Middle Eastern tradition to pin gold such as Gold prayers and Evil eyes for protection from people with dark green aura's (dark green =jealousy).
Our morning went surprisingly well but once we got to the library Mason turned into a little nightmare he was screaming and turned into a beetroot. I found myself panicking 'oh my god what if he is the only baby crying? 'what if he actually doesn't stop crying!' 'It's a library what if they kick us out for being too loud'
The lift door opened and we were met with a roaring sound of other babies crying, overall the class was fun it was for 50 minutes and it was run by a weird over enthuastic and animated lady. Mason fell asleep 5 minutes into the class and I sat at the back not speaking to a single soul.
It's safe to say motherhood isn't all about babychino's and Spanish baby clothes, it's pure never-ending chaos but like anything you adjust and you get used to it. The journey is a struggle at times but it's the most fullfilling and exciting time of your life.
For those of you who are yet to experience labour (count yourselves lucky) it is like no pain you have ever felt in your entire lives. Think of the worst pain ever, toothache? breaking a limb? Falling in love with a Hermes bag you can't afford? and then double it and then double it ten times over. May the Universe bless the person who invented the epidural.
But as bad as it is labour is the easy part.
Before I was pregnant I often imagined life as a parent but I always envisioned my child as a toddler, I don't know why I never thought of a newborn in my daydreams of motherhood. I always dreamt of them playing on the beach, going for coffee's and babychino's, their first day of school etc always a happy scenario which now seems like a million miles away from my reality. Once I fell pregnant I imagined a sleeping little angel who slept in his gorgeous nursery we built, I imagined lovely winter walks with Chewy and the baby sleeping in his pram or baby classes where I was able to mingle with other mums and make new friends.
But the reality is Mason has barely used his carrycot, cot, moses basket and now hates his sleepyhead too - if and when he sleeps he will only sleep on my chest. This means I am bound to the bed or sofa for hours and if I haven't prepared myself for this imprisonment then I often slowly slip into dehydration and insane hunger. On the bright side I have lost 14KG in 4 weeks and that could be a result of the fact I'm often glued to the sofa. If I put him down on his back he wakes up 10 minutes later due to his INCREDIBLY stubborn trapped wind which is why I invested in a sling (BEST PURCHASE EVER!) Sleep when the baby sleeps they said but how can I when he sleeps for 30 minutes at a time and I have bottles to sterilise and the Kardashians to catch up on.
The lovely pictureseque Winter walks with Chewy are often a disaster as well and end with me angirly whatsapping James ordering him to find a dog walker before I have a breakdown. Babies will fall asleep when the air hits them the midwives told me but Mason doesn't stay quiet for very long, so I usually have a baby in a sling screaming directly 1 meter from my face (see below) and a mischevious little Pomeranian who suffers with small dog syndrome that wants to take on the local dobermans. If that's not bad, having to pick up his poo's with a baby glued to me is the biggest work out I've done in a while. (Apparently running my mouth is not a type of exercise...who knew)
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| Exhibit A - Mason screaming his little head off |
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| Exhibit B- Enjoying his walk and melting Mummy's heart |
As of today 20th November, Mason is 6 weeks old and I've only been to 1 baby class. It was one at the local library that my best friend Chloe told me about. I was super excited, Mason and I wore a matching blue ensemble. I blow dried my hair and contoured to perfection, Mason wore a baby blue Spanish baby two piece and had all his gold pinned on him (Turkish/Middle Eastern tradition to pin gold such as Gold prayers and Evil eyes for protection from people with dark green aura's (dark green =jealousy).
Our morning went surprisingly well but once we got to the library Mason turned into a little nightmare he was screaming and turned into a beetroot. I found myself panicking 'oh my god what if he is the only baby crying? 'what if he actually doesn't stop crying!' 'It's a library what if they kick us out for being too loud'
The lift door opened and we were met with a roaring sound of other babies crying, overall the class was fun it was for 50 minutes and it was run by a weird over enthuastic and animated lady. Mason fell asleep 5 minutes into the class and I sat at the back not speaking to a single soul.
It's safe to say motherhood isn't all about babychino's and Spanish baby clothes, it's pure never-ending chaos but like anything you adjust and you get used to it. The journey is a struggle at times but it's the most fullfilling and exciting time of your life.
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